Stephen Colbert on Trump’s ‘gold card’: ‘Pay-to-play program for rich foreigners’
Late night TV hosts spent Thursday night digging into Donald Trump’s latest policy idea and, as usual, found plenty to laugh about. This time, the focus was Trump’s newly announced “gold card” immigration program for wealthy foreigners, along with his increasingly odd reassurances about grocery prices and the economy.
Stephen Colbert kicked off The Late Show with a holiday themed jab, singing a mock Christmas jingle about the president. “He’s making a list, checking it twice, then handing that list to the people at ICE. Donald Trump … ruins everything he touches,” Colbert sang. “And lately he’s been pretty handsy, slapping his face on anything in sight.”
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That setup led into Trump’s latest announcement, which Colbert described as “his long-promised pay-to-play program for rich foreigners”. Under the plan, foreign individuals can buy a US “golden visa” for $1m, or upgrade to a “platinum” version for $5m. According to an official government webpage, applicants are promised US residency “in record time” through the new “Trump Gold Card” once they pay a $15,000 processing fee, pass a background check and hand over the $1m fee.
Colbert couldn’t resist offering some advice. “A quick message here to rich immigrants: before you pony up, have you considered Canada?” he joked.
He went on to explain that the card is also designed to pull money from companies looking to hire skilled foreign workers. Those businesses would need to pay $2m, plus a 1% annual maintenance fee of $20,000 and a 5% transfer fee. “That’s a lot of fees, but if you sign up for the Trump Gold Card, you also get two free nights at a hotel of your choice – as long as it’s the Tampa Marriott Bonvoy,” Colbert quipped. “But don’t worry, all gold card members will be screened.”
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That line echoed comments from commerce secretary Howard Lutnick, who called it “the best vetting the government has ever done, $15,000 vetting to make sure these people absolutely qualify to be in America”.
Colbert wrapped the segment with a familiar punchline. “That’s important, you gotta prove you’re qualified to be an American,” he deadpanned. “Question one: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?”